Lessons from Ma Ingalls

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The Little House books aren't just for children. Here are 11 Lessons from Ma Ingalls that will help you live a more simple life.

This year Esther and I are reading The Little House series for her main school curriculum. I’ve read through the series twice with the older children and I’m excited to share these rich books with Esther. What I don’t remember from my readings a few years ago is being so affected by Ma Inglalls – maybe it was because I was teaching more children and multiple grade levels, who knows? But this time around I’ve been keeping notes on the lessons I’m learning from Ma.

Now, I realize that these books are written many years after the actual events and are biographical fiction, not non-fiction. I also realize that Laura Ingalls Wilder is writing from a child’s perspective without full knowledge of the events. However, I still think that Ma Ingalls was a pretty amazing woman who I can learn from.

Lessons from Ma Ingalls

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Ma was a planner. She wasn’t a list maker and she didn’t walk around with a full datebook but she planned for the future. For instance, she knew which girl needed new dresses and when, and had a plan for making sure the girls had what they needed. She stored the food they grew or hunted and then rationed it out to make sure it lasted the time it needed to last. As we are reading through the books, I’m struck with how often her thoughts are of the future and how what they do that day affect their future. There are so many times I let the convenience of the times we live in as an excuse to not plan ahead. Unfortunately, I pay for that convenience with both time and money.

Ma knew how to make do or do without – without her family feeling deprived. Ma was content and that contentment spilled over into her family’s attitude about being “poor.” They all knew they didn’t have much, but they had enough, and they didn’t have a poverty mentality. Ma made do with with what she had. If Pa brought home rabbit, they had rabbit. If the sugar was getting low, she stopped using it and saved it for special occasions, like Christmas. When they didn’t have a cow, they didn’t have milk or butter. But then it made it all the more exciting when they had these things. There’s something about delayed gratification that is really good for the soul. In our society of abundance sometimes we have to make a conscience decision to practice delayed gratification. It’s okay if my child doesn’t get new boots in September and has to wait until they go on sale on Black Friday. It makes her so much more appreciative of them once she gets the. It’s okay if we don’t eat summer squash during the winter or cabbage during the summer, it makes it taste all the better when we finally do have that first summer squash or cabbage.

Tips for Teaching Children to sew

Ma had a lot of skills. Of course, I expected that she would garden, cook, sew and knit. But I was surprised when she took straw and weaved them all hats! She wasn’t a hat maker, she was just a mom who probably learned to weave hats from her Ma or Grandma. I’ve learned quite a few skills over the years that benefit my family. Some, like crocheting, I’m a beginner and I’m happy to stay at that level. I can make basic scarves, hats and afghans which is all I really need to know at this point in my life. Then there are other skills that I have that I really want to delve deeper into, herbal medicine would be one of those skills.

Ma passed those skills onto her daughters. Even at a young age the girls worked side by side with Ma, doing dishes, sewing nine patch quilt blocks, working in the garden and hauling water. Ma seems to have the gift of patience when it came to teaching the girls as they worked. I need to remember to include my children in my work and see it as an opportunity to teach them life skills. It’s okay if towels aren’t folded perfectly or if dinner takes 15 minutes longer to prepare. I was more diligent at including my older children and am now reaping the benefits, but I need to be more aware of the opportunities with Esther because she needs to learn these skills too.

SchneiderPeeps - day's harvest

Ma was grateful. I cannot imagine living a life without complaining, an yet Laura never really records her mother complaining. I’m sure there was much more in those hard days to complain about than there is in our modern day with all it’s conveniences. When Pa had to leave to go find work after the grasshoppers destroyed their crops, he left Ma with three small girls plus all his chores. When he returned months later, instead of fussing because they mainly had to eat just fish and potatoes, Ma was grateful they had been able to conserve their store bought staples because the fish and potatoes had been plentiful. Her grateful spirit is sprinkled all through these books. I need to learn to be more grateful and model that for my children. I want my children to remember me as someone who didn’t complain.

Ma made her family her number one priority, so did Pa for that matter. Some people think that making your family your number one priority means giving up yourself, and it does to some extent, but you don’t have to give up everything. Life is about choices and when you have a family it’s about making choices that are good for the family as a whole and not each individual. Ma gave up her teaching career when she had Mary but that didn’t stop her from teaching her own children how to read and write. Pa gave up his desire to keep moving west because the girls going to a school was important to Ma. But he didn’t sulk on it, he willingly gave that up for the good of his family. In order to make my family my number one priority, there will be some things I need to give up. This was especially true when I had five small children. There are seasons in life and it’s okay to give up personal dreams or desires for the good of the family. Who knows, one day I might get to fulfill those dreams or I might have new dreams.

SchneiderPeeps - strawberry cake final

Ma took pride in her home. It didn’t matter if the home was a wooden home built with store bought boards or a dirt dugout, Ma added small touches to make it lovely for her family. She made beautiful quilts for the beds and cloths for the table. She would also pick wildflowers and add them to the table just to brighten the house. I don’t know about you, but my house is always MUCH prettier when we’re expecting company. Why is that and what does that say to my family?

Ma did the first things first. I’ve been intrigued that Ma and the girls ALWAYS made their beds, swept the floor and did the dishes each morning. Of course, those are things that should be done first. Those are the things that will make a home look tidy or left undone, look messy. Even when they were rushing in the morning because they needed to go somewhere, the beds must be made and the dishes wiped and put away. I’m notorious for rushing in the morning to get to the “real” work and leaving the things that should be done first undone. I see the same tendency in my children. Amazing how that works. I’m working on a few small things that I do each morning no matter how hurried we are to get into the habit of doing first things first. For me, those things are making the bed (which I enjoy and do almost every morning anyway), wiping down the bathroom vanity and making sure the morning dishes are done. We don’t have a dishwasher so I don’t do all the dishes, I just make sure everyone does their own dishes – just to clarify.

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Ma did her work peacefully. I’m sure there were many times when Ma was overwhelmed with the amount of work she had. But unless there was a fire or some kind of emergency, Laura doesn’t recall Ma hollering and getting uptight. Ma just did her work and amazingly, whatever needed to get done got done. Now, I know part of it is because she lived in a time where she was home most of the time and didn’t need to rush every day or several times a day to drive a child here or there. But even though our lifestyles are very different, I can choose to do my work peacefully. I can choose to not rush through everything just to get to the next thing I need to do. I can enjoy the work and not try to fill my day with so much stuff that I’m frustrated and short with my family.

Ma “worked” from the time she got up to the time she went to bed. It’s interesting to see how Ma ordered her days. She did the first things first, then she did her other chores for that day. The other chores included things like laundry (once a week), baking or working in the garden. Then she would sit and knit or do mending. This was work that was relaxing. We all need downtime and I think this was Ma’s downtime. One thing Ma didn’t do was spend several hours a day in front of a screen for her downtime. I realize that we live in a different time with different ways of relaxing but I wonder how much more peaceful our families would be if we turned off the screens and chose a different form of downtime? I don’t know about you, but I can get online in the evening to “just check one thing” and then spend an hour or more getting lost. Or I can watch “just a bit of Late Night” after the news and before I know it, the show is completely over. I’ve been trying to “save” some of my more relaxing work for the evenings after Esther goes to bed. Since I have an online business, I can’t completely go offline, but I certainly can put boundaries around my work time so I’m not always online.

Ma was gracious towards others. Even when others were rude or unkind to her or her family, she was always gracious back. She seemed to live with the thought of “killing them with kindness.” When Laura spoke poorly of Nellie Olsen, Ma corrected her. When Laura “got Nellie back”, Ma corrected her. When Nellie bragged about her doll or her home, Ma was gracious. I need to not only have this attitude but teach my children to have this attitude. In our culture it’s very common to speak poorly (gossip) about others and dismiss it as “truth”. But just because something is true doesn’t mean we should say it. I tell my kids all the time, there are things that are true about me (or you) that I hope people don’t go around saying.

The Little House books aren't just for children. Here are 11 Lessons from Ma Ingalls that will help you live a more simple life.

I could probably go on and on but I’ll stop here as this post is getting pretty long. I hope this inspires you as we go into the crazy busy holiday season and the New Year to see what in your life could use a little help from Ma. If you don’t have a Ma in your life to help you learn some of these new things, consider learning some of these things through online “mentors”.

What life lessons have you been reminded of lately? (If you receive this post via email, you’ll need to click over to leave your comment.)

Thanks for sharing with your friends!

35 thoughts on “Lessons from Ma Ingalls”

  1. Having just finished reading the main books with my daughter, I couldn’t agree more. We are starting the ‘Rose’ books, then will double back to the books about Caroline’s life and lives of her mother and grandmother. Wonderful reading!

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    • How fun! I think we’ll be doing the same when we’re done with the main books. My daughter loves them so much, she’s even taken to calling me “Ma” which her siblings think is hilarious.

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  2. I loved reading this! I’ve read through the Little House series several times with my kids, and I’ve always admired Ma. She was a true lady. Thanks for reminding me about how she did first things first. I need to start that with my family.

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  3. Did you also notice that Ma Ingalls wasn’t always rushing off someplace other than home. She rarely went anywhere; she even trusted Pa to do the shopping and choosing of fabric at times. The girls WALKED to wherever they wanted to go, including school. Ma Ingalls was a true “stay-at-home” mom. I admire her for her patience, calmness, and graciousness. Even in the most humble of circumstances she exhibited these qualities and taught them constantly to her daughters.

    Another exemplary mother is Mary Emma Moody, the mother of Ralph Moody, written about by Ralph in his autobiographical novels beginning with Little Britches, Father and I were Ranchers. She is another fabulous example. Widowed young, and while pregnant with a sixth child, she worked from her home at various things, including cooking and laundering lace curtains for a prominent Denver hotel. The children worked too, contributing their earnings to their mother for her use in keeping the household running, and the children fed and clothed.

    Thanks for sharing what you’ve learned from Ma Ingalls. I’m still a work in progress even though all our children are now adults. It’s not over until it’s over!

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    • So very true, Rozy! I’ve been trying to figure out the balance for our family of staying home and doing what needs to be done. And allowing my children to have opportunities outside of the house to grow and pursue their own dreams. Thanks for recommending Little Britches, I’ve heard of them but haven’t read them. I’ll have to see if I can find them to read to my daughter so we can both learn. I think we’re all works in progress no matter what season of life we’re in.

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  4. Thank you. I really enjoyed reading your insights. I remember watching some of the Little House in the Prairie episodes on TV in South Africa years ago. I really must try to get hold of the books.

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  5. What wonderful lessons for us all. Thank you for this post. It felt almost like a meditation; I have that sense of peace I get after meditating.

    It’s been decades since I last read the Little House books. I read them first as a child, then again with each of my children. The television show was running full bore when they were little, and one thing that bothered me greatly about it was that Pa lied quite often, usually to fool someone, or to keep a surprise, and sometimes because he didn’t want Ma or the children to worry. In the books, neither Pa nor Ma lied. Ever. There was no such thing as a “little white lie.” That was one of the things I loved most about those books, besides the cohesiveness of the family, and the wonderful nature scenes..

    Quite often, they lived miles and miles from other folks, so their only company was the land and each other. Yet Laura found joy in their togetherness and the work they did, her father’s fiddle after supper. As your post so lovingly illustrates, Ma was strength, calm and kindness. I don’t recall her ever saying a harsh word, even when reminding the children to think kindly on those who harmed them.

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    • Kathryn, thank you for your sweet words! I really appreciate them. I remember loving the TV series as a kid, but then when we watched them with our older children I was disappointed in some of the changes they made. Our youngest wants to watch them so we’ll be checking them out from the library and watching (and talking about) them together.

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  6. This was a really neat post, Angi! I have always loved those books and have been amazed at Ma–her skills and especially her attitude. We are planning to do this study next year and I can’t wait! 🙂 Thanks for writing this!

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    • That’s one of the fun things about having such a large age range of children is that we get to repeat the things we love. It will be interesting to see if you get different things out of it this time around.

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  7. Just read this and I so agree! I as an adult ocassionally go back and read these books to remind myself what life was like when folks faced hard times with Faith and Determination. The other day I copied Ma’s saying out of “Little House In The Big Woods” on how to get everything done in the week:
    “Wash on Monday, Iron on Tuesday, Mend on Wednesday, Churn on Thursday, Clean on Friday, Bake on Saturday, Rest on Sunday” I put this in my household management book, laughing that household management & organization have been around for centuries., despite all the items people sell to help us get that way in our modern age! I also realized that resting on the Sabbath for God was not so He could recover from exhaustion, but so He could enjoy the work of His hands. Gave me a new perspective on Sundays. Enjoy the fruit of your labor, enjoy your family, enjoy the Lord’s creation. Thanks for the entry!

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    • Hi Mia, thanks so much for your comment. I, too, find it interesting how Ma didn’t seem to need a “household organizer” to keep house. In our modern time with electricity, it’s easy to try to cram 2 or 3 days work into one. You’re right, enjoying the fruit of our labor is part of living a simple life.

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      • The houses were like one room of our houses now though or like less than 12×24 room.They didnt have only 1 plate & 1 cup per person or sometimes for 2 people. They didnt have thousands of items in their homes like nowadays. I loved your article. Little house series are my favorite books and they are a gift I received used from someone on my birthday, that I treasure more than any others.You can do a part 2 &3 of lessons, please. There is a whole school curriculum called “The Prairie Primer” too.Oh, to escape back to those days.

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        • Thanks for your comments, Lisa. We visited the Little House Museum in Independence, Kansas a few years ago. And the whole house as the size of my living room/dining room/kitchen. When I think of that visit I’m thankful I don’t have to live THAT simply, but can choose to live in a simple way that makes sense for me. We used the Prairie Primer as our guide when we read through the series – such a great year. I’m hoping I’ll have a chance to go through them again with grandchildren one day.

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  8. Thank you very much for sharing from “Ma’s perspective” made me want to reread the series. And it made me rethink my own attitude and ways. : )

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    • You’re so welcome. It’s funny how meaningful this series was to me as a mom and wife. Of course, my little one loved it too!

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  9. I was talking with a friend at our homeschool co-op recently about Ma Ingalls, actually. When I read the Little House series as a child (many times!), I always liked Pa because he seemed like the ‘fun parent–described with twinkling eyes, ready to play a fiddle or tell a story, etc. Ma always seemed like a bit of a stick in the mud, telling Pa to stop playing the fiddle so the girls could go to sleep, etc. As an adult, I think Caroline was amazing, for many of the reasons you stated above. My friend had the comment that Caroline was really the one that kept the family together through all the hard times, with her resourcefulness and good cheer, and I think that may be true.

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    • I think that’s true too. It’s great that Pa was so fun and I think he added a lot of joy to a very hard childhood. It’s interesting to see how Pa and Ma worked together towards the same goals, but differently. Each willing to give in to the other when needed for the good of their family.

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  10. They put meaning to “ being in the world and not of It”. No keeping up with the Jones’s and no social pressure. I’m sure life was very tough and many disappointments but the Simple life brings families together. Family first. I am thankful we have the freedom to live this form of lifestyle if we so choose.

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    • Yes, they did! I think that envy and covetousness are part of the human condition regardless of culture and time period. I, too, am thankful we have the freedom to live how we choose.

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  11. I love this post. It gives me a new perspective on Ma. Two things I remember from the books. One was when Ma did complain, she apologized right away. The other was when Laura had a job sewing shirts. She was very fast at making buttonholes, because she didn’t like doing them. Ma had taught her if you don’t like doing something, learn to do it quickly and get it done with.

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  12. I love these books. It’s been years since I’ve read them but this makes me want to get them back out. This is what I am striving in my life. The simpler times, if with all the work she did. Thank you for the story and for reminding me.

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  13. We went to De Smet SD to one of the original homesteads of the Ingalls and there they had a cookbook and stories to go with the recipes of what Ma would have made. We even had used some of them and they are a very interesting to read as to what they made with what they had.

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  14. When I was in third grade, every day after lunch, Miss Zuercher would read to us from the Little House books. I don’t know how she timed it so perfectly, but she began with Little House on the Prairie and on the last day of school, came to the end of These Happy Golden Years. I can assure you, third grade was a long time ago for me, but this remains a vivid and happy memory. This wonderful teacher not only fostered my love for the simple, yet full life the Ingalls had, she encouraged my love for reading through her love of reading to us. Great article!

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    • What a fantastic teacher Miss Zuercher was! I hope teachers are still taking the time to read to their class, it’s such an important thing for the reasons you mentioned. Thanks for sharing your experience.

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  15. I used to own the series. I don’t know whatever happened to it though. I’ll have to check with my mom and my sisters to see if any of them ended up with it. Would be great to re-read and also have around to read to my kids someday. Lord knows, with how society is nowadays, they won’t be able to be found anymore. So many valuable lessons of the past should be treasured and kept alive!

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  16. Next to the Bible, the Little House books are the most convicting books I’ve ever read. I loved them as a child, owned the series, and read them all multiple times. I’ve read Little House in the Big Woods, Farmer Boy, and The Long Winter with my kids. I too have a new appreciation for Ma and Almanzo’s mother too. These women worked all the time and had so many skills to keep their farms running and their families cared for.

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